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LABOUR PAINS

To me, Travel and reading are a ‘perfect marriage’ of two hobbies. I feel very blessed when I realise that I am in one such myself. Both hobbies, when done solo, helps you learn and grow so much as a person. It is so intoxicating that many of life’s day today challenges seem insignificant.
But, what I was not prepared for, was the unplanned baby from this labour of love. It all started with those frequent aches that make you go crazy.

My name is Guru, a Sanskrit word, meaning “a teacher” ('Gu'=darkness, 'Ru'=dispeller). Indian philosophy puts a teacher on a very high pedestal - like a guardian angel. However, my life philosophy has been the exact opposite. I like to think of myself as a “student forever”, constantly seeking knowledge and new experiences. I am a Guru to myself, trying to be a better version of me, everyday. I am a Gen X with a firm belief that age is but a number, unless you are a cheese or wine (being a teetotaller, can’t speak much about wine but cheese, I can vouch for 😀). I consider myself to be a “global” Indian, my identity defined neither from North nor South. I can speak about 7 Indian languages. I identify myself as a proud Liberal Hindu, the one where humanity comes before caste, colour or creed. I am also a combination of East meets West. I enjoy Jazz, Solo, R&B, Regge, Country, Pop as much as I love Carnatic, Bollywood, Ghazals, Sufi,Kannada Bhaktigeete and Bhavageete. I love Italian, Mexican, Thai, Burmese, Middle Eastern cuisines as much as Indian (veg by choice). Like a bamboo that grows tall on the outside, but has equally longer roots underneath- I like to believe that my roots in India puts me in a great position to be compassionate to other cultures and easily adapt myself in any other place on Earth or beyond. It has never been a challenge to mingle with the locals whenever I travel. I don’t look for our ‘own’ Indian kith and kin, as most of us generally do, as soon as we land in a foreign soil. With me, it is quite the opposite. I have more local friends than Indian, wherever I have been to. The secret is that when you are very clear where your home is, where your soul and heart is (India, for me), every day in a foreign land becomes an experience that you want to cherish. It is like a wide eyed child looking at the world for the first time, squealing with joy and excitement, ready to ‘live’ those moments.
I am also an ‘accidental’ software engineer, a profession that chose me and not the other way round. It’s not a job that I am greatly passionate about. However, one of the perks of the job (which is also why I haven’t quit, even after more than 2 decades; oh…that, and a great pay as well) is the opportunities that it presents to travel around the world.

Coming back to the ‘perfect’ marriage, I have a passion for reading pretty much anything that I find interesting- fiction or non-fiction, autographies, self-help, mythology, Indian philosophy, mystery, world history or even children books 😀When you travel solo along with a great book/audiobook, you get a high that you can’t get from the most potent of the intoxicants. (I have to share this; I am a non-smoker as well and my friends and cousins think I am a disgrace to the mankind!!!) It is the time that you get to be your self,do a lot of introspection, do some quality thinking about things happening in your life. It also enables you to reassess your priorities. Occasionally, you may also have that ‘Eureka’ moment when it all becomes so clear and you get an answer to a long pending question. I believe the books you have read will also play a role to enhance your experience, at a subconscious level, if not directly.

After this exciting journey comes the most exhausting part. You start getting those terrible aches in the heart, that I call the labour pains. Now, you want to get this out, to share your experience to the outside world, friends and family. But, you are also scared because what was so personal to you will become an object of everyone’s judgement. Can you take it on the chin if what you love and cherish the most becomes a thing of ridicule. Which parent like their child to be bullied, while they watch helplessly? Should I let it out bare or Should I hold on to it? But, these pangs become more frequent and so painful, that you can’t hold anymore and want this damn thing to get over, no matter what happens.

The conflict between the head and heart still continues. I haven’t found an answer to my quest yet; but I know it has to be my own answer, one more lonely journey deep inside of me to get that Eureka moment. Maybe, I should wait it out, as is the case with labour pains, for the nature to take its course? All these pains better be worth it. Hmm…Maybe one more solo travel with a great philosophical book?? Incidentally, “Free This Feeling” (Spring Gang) is playing in the background while I am penning this down. Seems apt. Co-incidence or nature at its work again? Beckoning of one more mystical destination??

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Location: London, UK

Comments

Anonymous said…
Excellent 👌
2:24 PM
Guru said…
Thank you...This piece was written more as a self-introduction, highlighting two of my many other hobbies. I maybe able to rework on these write ups and cut down the slack, but I generally prefer to pen down my thoughts in one single sitting and share immediately, not doing much of proof reading. Hence, it may come a little unstructured sometime, but hope the message I want to convey, reaches to the reader.
3:40 AM
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