Also, I never understood the expression ‘falling in love’. Why would someone be falling, after being ‘lovestruck’? Isn’t love supposed to elevate in one fell swoop and take you to the next level? Is love one overhyped emotion, being cashed by the corporates and being sold to us, in pieces, in various forms, size and shapes? Is love a play of chemicals, with hormones going haywire - science clearly stating that you will have changed levels of Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Vasopressin - which also explains why you have a ‘feel good’ factor associated with love and also, why love can be so addictive? Just like a junkie, the kick is irresistible and you can go to any length for love - which puts into perspective, the phrase ‘love is blind’. Keeping aside all the moral aspects away, is lust/infatuation a better choice than love? That way, no baggages attached and you can move on rather quickly? Are we really hooked on to love or do we love the ‘notion’ of love? I listen to the great love ballads from artists like Celine Deon, Whitney Houston, Bryan Adams & Frank Sinatra and can’t help but wonder if they would have gone through this journey of love themselves & what was it like to them? Does love make us more creative & optimistic? Or does the absence of it add more sole to the melancholy, take us towards an inward journey and make you more evolved as an individual? I see literary masterpieces about love from different times in history and can’t help but wonder if love brings a ray of hope when the humanity is at its worst and there seem to be darkness everywhere. I also wonder why love (being a complete emotion by itself) needs the crutch of so many adjectives - honest love, unconditional love, pure love, eternal love, divine love, passionate love, unadulterated love?
Gawd!!!…I feel like a love surgeon about to dissect LOVE in the operation theatre and I worry, as with any surgeon, that this thing on the table, better not deteriorate any further and definitely NOT DIE on me. I may have messed up big time, trying to analyse something which is best when experienced. But, my meanderings continue. Can it be possible that people in love are like horses with blinders, not being able to appreciate other emotions, with love defining both the journey and the destinationl? Or does love help you to connect with your emotional side and you become more sensitive? After all, compassionate empathy is said to be the greatest emotion that can hold us together, as a single race. Which brings the next question - is love all about two people involved, in which case, it seems to be mere transactional and self-serving. Then, I don’t see the greatness of this emotion and am happy not to be ‘bitten’ by one.
But, over time, I have realised this, based on my Indian roots (I guess). As per the ancient Gurukul system (being practiced in India long ago), at a young age of 8 yrs, the students are sent to the hermitage of a Guru, where he will study one specific subject (like Vedas) every year for the next 7 years, before he graduates and then, can decide on a post-graduate specialisation or return back home to carry on his family duties. I always wondered why would a student be taught the same subject for 7 consecutive years, as that is quite unheard of, in the current education system. I did get the answer to my long pending question, while I was reading some book on ancient Indian Wisdom. While the reference (Vedas) wouldn’t have changed over time, students’ sheer ability to perceive Vedas in a new light - evolved year after year. While the pupil goes through stages of physical maturity, he is also on his journey to be an intellectual prowess. This makes sense to me and I can see LOVE in a different light now.
You see, to me, the purpose and meaning of LOVE will keep changing. There is no single definition, it is highly subjective and will evolve with me. The ups and downs, my struggles in this journey called life, things that I long for but haven’t had, my own people whom I have lost, my friends and family & the dynamics with them, nature of my symbiotic relationship with the world in general - these are different lenses with which I will see and derive different meanings for LOVE. To me, at times love may be self less and some other times, it may mean being obsessed and to fight fiercely to hold on to something that matters to you. Love can be full of contradictions. Two parties involved in love may have different perspectives as well. Both may be looking for different outcomes while sharing the same emotion. While I care less about the physicality of love (sexual or not), it was the perspective that was more fascinating than the act itself.
Pheww…..With the new revelation, I am at peace with love now. As long as it brings the better out of me, I have no complaints and am willing to play along.I have been lucky to get love, abundance of it, in this life - so much so, that I wonder that it may overflow and permeate others (in a harmless way) around me. It is a special feeling, being loved by friends, family, your ‘loved’ ones. It may feel suffocating at times. Some other times, it may make you feel guilty as you are not able to reciprocate the emotion with the same intensity, making you feel ‘less’ human. But, truth be told…it also makes me feel special, enhances my self-worth, brings in a sense of purpose, creates a new appreciation towards people and relations in general. Hence, I enjoy this emotion called LOVE, as it makes me a better person and the world, a bearable place to live. My dearest, I wish you all lots of love ….”Love” and “Be Loved”.
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