A 'WOMAN' TO ME. Can’t seem to get this song (from Billy Joel) out of my head since last few days. Seems like it is playing in loop in my mind. Anyways, back to the topic. I never understood why we have a particular day to celebrate a particular theme, across the globe. Are all these things not worth valuing or celebrating everyday, if they are so important and relevant to us? Apparently, there are 129 international days ‘officially’ recognized in UN calendar. Seems like we have 200 plus days in the calendar to still fill with and at the rate we are going, we may be out of slots soon. “Oh…Stop being cynical” - I almost said aloud to myself. With International Women’s day celebrated few days ago and mother's day being celebrated in few days (19th March in UK), I wanted to pen down my view on women folk today.
Manu Smriti, a compilation of Sanskrit texts, is considered to be one of the oldest constitutions of the world. It clearly mentions that where women are respected, divinity prevails. (“Yatra naryastu pujyante…”). The family where women (mother, wife, sister, daughter etc) are full of sorrow, that family will fall apart soon. From my personal experience, I feel this message is relevant even today. In Hindu religion, women are being revered as goddesses (one of the very few practicing religions to do so) - capable of creation, sustenance and destruction.
As they say, some people come in your life for a reason, some, for a season and few others, for lifetime. I have had the privilege of being in the company of many women, during various phases of life, as friend, sister, daughter, wife, mother, grand mother, lover, colleague, relative or just as a neighbour aunt. Using this early morning to reflect upon some of these fellow companions in this journey and how they influenced me. Growing up in a small town of Udupi, we had lots of girls around my neighbourhood. While going to school together as a ‘gang’, I was the only boy and the rest, girls. Our 'Gang leader' was a girl, a little elder to me - whom I used to look up on in awe, as she seemed to be very composed. Being fair to others and treating everyone with equal respect - were her great qualities. A trait similar to my grandmother, who is one of the greatest sources of inspiration to me (though she is no more). I learnt many life lessons like humility, humour and to be happy in the face of adversity. Through her actions, she had taught me that patience and forgiveness is not a weakness, but a virtue. To me, she and my mother set the bar for moral standards. For the first time, I had learnt what a true ‘class’ meant. Class, not through opulence, but through righteousness. My mother has been another great influencer. With her constant story telling ability since my childhood, topics varying from Indian Mythological stories to moral stories to contemporary ones, she had widened the horizon of my thinking. She also taught the ability to find joy and content from the smallest of things and to have a compassionate & positive attitude. Whatever value systems that I have imbibed, which will stay with me for life, they are mostly because of these two great ladies. My sister has always been very vocal, fiercely protective and stood up for what is right. Her definition of what is right matches mostly (but not always!!) with mine, as we share the same value system. My wife is all about love, care and self-respect. At times, I feel a little guiilty as I am unable to reciprocate the feelings with the same intensity. My mother in law reminds me of going the extra mile to help others. My daughter is happy go lucky (we had named her the same as well) and has empathy as a strong trait. Growing up, I wish her behaviour will be guided by the value systems that she sees in the family. These are the women who have touched my life through relationships. Then, there are acquaintances, colleagues, friends and other relatives. Even my childhood crush reminds of being very poised and intelligent. Every one of them seemed to have some unique ability and I can’t help but, be amazed.
Through women that I have come across, I understand that their life journey is not easy either. Apart from dealing with biological, psychological, emotional challenges (science confirms that their brain is wired slightly differently and hence, are more emotional and empathic) and social challenges (including regressive behaviour from us, males!!!), they also seem to have the constant ‘pressure’ to prove themselves in every role, both within family and to the outside world. Maybe, that’s why, resilience seem to come natural to them.
If the world were to be a garden, to me, women are like flowers, bringing in various fragrances, adding colours and making the garden look beautiful. Even when flowers wither away, they ensure that the soil is impregnated with seeds to make way for new plants, new flowers and new fruits. I humbly bow to the gardener who is in charge of this beautiful garden. I also bow to all the women folk with respect and admiration - you inspire me everyday to become a better version of me and aspire to be ‘classy’, just like you are. Everyone of you are that special “woman” to me and I am greatful that our paths have crossed. Dolly Parton is crooning "I will always love you...." in my ears and for reasons unknown, my eyes are welling up!! Another great singer, song writer that I admire a lot, like Billy Joel.
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Vasanth